August 13, 2010

  • You Walked Out on Her...

    I had to talk to my biological father the other day.
    It was as strange and difficult as it always is.
    I don't have any pent up bitterness or anything...
    Just lingering awkwardness and remorse

    I know he feels bad for what he did.
    It doesn't erase what his mistake stole from me and my brothers.
    I don't know if it's harder for a boy or girl to lose their father
    And to know he lived 10 minutes away and never comes to visit
    But it had a tremendous impact on me as a young girl suddenly fatherless.

    So it just goes without saying that talking to him on the phone is difficult.
    Forgiveness is there.
    But the need or want of a future relationship was long ago put to rest.
    A combination of a great stepdad, godly male mentors I could look up to and a loving and healing heavenly Father abolished my need for anything more.

    Anyway, I share all this with you because I was listening to this song today that used to truly minister to me during my need as a young girl.
    It spoke so tenderly to my broken heart and helped heal and put the pieces back together.
    It is such an example of our loving God in heaven and his heart for the broken.
    Those who have been broken He has promised to mend and make new - even stronger than before. :)

    - -

    "Always" by Newsboys

    What were you thinking?
    I got a right to ask
    Is there a reason other than your past?
    A great pretender
    Why was I the last to see through your skin?
    Is there a chance you'll ever change?

    It's always the same
    You're always to blame
    Is there any way around this
    I can't see
    You walked out on her
    You planned to be free
    I'm trying not to point the finger
    But it's killing me

    What were you thinking?
    Were you thinking of me?
    Did you see what they wrote on the family tree?
    I know it's over
    All in the past
    I need to forgive you
    If I'm to last - will I ever change?

    It's always the same
    You're always to blame
    Is there any way around this
    I can't see
    You walked out on her
    You planned to be free
    I'm trying not to point the finger
    But it's killing me

    Take these pieces
    Thrown away
    Put them together from
    Night 'n' day
    Washed by the sun
    Dried by the rain
    To be my Father
    In the fatherless days

    Take these pieces
    Thrown away
    Put them together from
    Night 'n' day
    Washed by the sun
    Dried by the rain
    To be my Father
    In the fatherless days