November 18, 2010
-
Carrots
They say no man is an island, but at times it certainly feels that way.
To be surrounded by people and feel unseen… unknown.
To be just on the cusp of companionship and friendship only to have it snatched away from you.
Lights turned off.
Hope diminished.
Heart aching with longing and pain.
What did I do?So often the only thing I have ever wanted was to be heard.
Now, it’s to be known.
Wanted.
We all long to be wanted, but few people have the time or patience or desire to show us we are wanted.
When you finally do find someone you feel wants you around and enjoys your company – enough that you can be yourself and brutally honest and talk late into the night for hours – you want to cling to them because it has just been so freaking long.
But you can’t.
You would certainly scare them off by clinging to them.
Inevitably that nagging voice in the back of your head begins to whisper that they probably won’t want you around much longer anyway.
Fear.
Insecurity.
Walls go up.
When will these butterflies in the stomach take a break?Isn’t it perfectly human to want these things?
Isn’t it perfectly normal to cling to the discovered treasure you’ve been searching for?
Why is it then that people make you feel abnormal?
Don’t be too extreme.
Don’t rush into things.
Suppress your feelings and everything your wanting to say and do and “be normal.”
Does this even make sense?
Or is it just the way things have become?I’ll never understand the dangling of a carrot in front of a lonely person that is removed without explanation.
I’ll never understand why people are too busy to be human.
