Month: August 2010

  • You Walked Out on Her…

    I had to talk to my biological father the other day.
    It was as strange and difficult as it always is.
    I don’t have any pent up bitterness or anything…
    Just lingering awkwardness and remorse

    I know he feels bad for what he did.
    It doesn’t erase what his mistake stole from me and my brothers.
    I don’t know if it’s harder for a boy or girl to lose their father
    And to know he lived 10 minutes away and never comes to visit
    But it had a tremendous impact on me as a young girl suddenly fatherless.

    So it just goes without saying that talking to him on the phone is difficult.
    Forgiveness is there.
    But the need or want of a future relationship was long ago put to rest.
    A combination of a great stepdad, godly male mentors I could look up to and a loving and healing heavenly Father abolished my need for anything more.

    Anyway, I share all this with you because I was listening to this song today that used to truly minister to me during my need as a young girl.
    It spoke so tenderly to my broken heart and helped heal and put the pieces back together.
    It is such an example of our loving God in heaven and his heart for the broken.
    Those who have been broken He has promised to mend and make new – even stronger than before. :)

    - -

    “Always” by Newsboys

    What were you thinking?
    I got a right to ask
    Is there a reason other than your past?
    A great pretender
    Why was I the last to see through your skin?
    Is there a chance you’ll ever change?

    It’s always the same
    You’re always to blame
    Is there any way around this
    I can’t see
    You walked out on her
    You planned to be free
    I’m trying not to point the finger
    But it’s killing me

    What were you thinking?
    Were you thinking of me?
    Did you see what they wrote on the family tree?
    I know it’s over
    All in the past
    I need to forgive you
    If I’m to last – will I ever change?

    It’s always the same
    You’re always to blame
    Is there any way around this
    I can’t see
    You walked out on her
    You planned to be free
    I’m trying not to point the finger
    But it’s killing me

    Take these pieces
    Thrown away
    Put them together from
    Night ‘n’ day
    Washed by the sun
    Dried by the rain
    To be my Father
    In the fatherless days

    Take these pieces
    Thrown away
    Put them together from
    Night ‘n’ day
    Washed by the sun
    Dried by the rain
    To be my Father
    In the fatherless days

  • All That Is to Come

    27.
    Every birthday I’ve felt the same.
    With maybe the exception of turning 18.
    But seriously, this birthday I feel different….
    Older.
    Hmmm…
    Maybe because we’re in such an adult time in our lives right now.
    No, we’re not having kids and we already did the marriage thing.
    Chad has a stable job (not tending horses, but rather a secure job)
    and I am going to finish my Bachelors… maybe be the oldest student in some of my classes…
    But there is something about buying a house that is so huge.
    So long term.
    So adult-ish.
    It’s nerve racking and exciting and makes me feel older. :)

    My birthday was a blast though…
    It was drawn out (which I love)
    Several weeks prior I saw my family in Wisconsin and they threw me a birthday party.
    The only thing missing was my Aunt making me a pie.
    Every other birthday when I was home (which is rare) she would make me a pie of my choice.
    I always wanted Banana Cream Pie or Coconut Cream Pie.
    Omnomnomnom…..
    Anyway that was really fun and enjoyable.. :)
    Then the Saturday before my birthday I celebrated with Chad, my brother Matt and friends at Olive Garden.
    Then on my birthday Chad took me to dinner and a movie…
    That night Colby called and got the “last word” before the clock turned everything into a new day.
    And I still have a package coming in the mail from my best friend…. and another gift coming from Chad….
    So yeah… It’s been a good long birthday. :)

    Looking forward to all that is to come. :)

  • Catching Up… :)

    Oh my gosh, why have I not been posting?
    It’s not like my life is nearly as boring as it was a few months ago…
    Busier for sure….

    Hokay….

    Um, we accepted an offer on a house we really want tonight.
    Yay!!
    It’s pending inspection and appraisal, but if those two things go well then Chad and I will be official homeowners in about a month or so… Seriously crazy!
    We are a tad nervous.
    It is a huge decision.
    We are both excited.
    We officially have had ENOUGH of apartments… :)

    This is the house.
    As Colby would say, it has “rap music” playing during the slide show. lol :)

    We got two new kitties, as you may have seen from the recent post about yawning.
    BTW –
    Everytime I try and make “yawning” into a current plural-type verb…(aka: Yawny or Yawnie, as in “oh wow, I am so yawnie!)….Chad comes along pretending to play the piano like Yanni.
    I seriously could die laughing every time.
    Guess you’d have to be there to believe me. lol

    Anyway, these Yawny kittens (Chad imitating piano playing in background) are now sisters to Pita.
    That’s right.
    I went to Wisconsin and got my kitty back!
    Pita is home and she is LOVING being away from pug puppies who terrorized her.
    She definitely is needing to adjust to her new baby sisters… but much better than pug brothers by far!

    You’d want these angels:

    Over these brutes any day:

    :)

    Wisconsin was a fun week, btw.
    I spent most of the time with my Granny, but I got to see everyone else quite a bit as well.
    They even threw me a picnic birthday celebration thing.
    I will be 27 on Monday.
    I am getting old, but as long as I am getting old with Chad I don’t mind!
    Yet. ;)

    So school starts in 11 days!
    I am crazy nervous and excited!
    This is the most credits I have ever taken.
    Plus, my one online class is only the first 8 weeks meaning it is DOUBLE TIME.
    So the first 8 weeks are going to feel like I am taking 18 credit hours (in terms of homework at least)

    Here are the classes I am taking:

    MW:
    Earlier American Literature & Reading and Writing Non-fiction Prose
    MWF:
    Introduction to Language
    TU/TH:
    Photography 1
    Online:
    Introduction to Literature

    Yay!

    Okay, that is all for now. Bedtime! Goodnight, Internet world…. :)